Finally I convinced myself to put together a blog! This is something I´ve been thinking about for years, but my ambivalence usually takes over and makes decisions like these difficult.
There is something about blogging and sharing that appeals to me, as the chatterbox I am, that never gets enough attention. I am open and try to be as honest as I possible. Recently I have realized I haven´t been honest – not to people around me nor myself.
My journey in this life started almost 27 years ago, and with this blog I want to share and explore what comes to mind, my thoughts, my believes and what I have and have not learned through this time.Some of the post might be without any solid clues and a lot of scrawling, but I think I need this to find my place, and stop being in an out of life.
I know I have had my share of searching in panic through the world wide web to find clues, guidelines and help trying to live my life. In general I think this only distanced me even more from myself, and made it harder to find out where I stand or want to be. After almost three decades I have realized that the only way to make this a life worth while for me – is to find my own way – even how cliché it may sound. I need to be selfish in the right ways for once. With the pressure of being the better-best in all categories of being human today, I sure have fallen for a lot of temptations. I´ve made a lot of mistakes, both by choice and unconsciously. And I know there are a lot of other people struggling or just trying to deal with the same thought and issues as me.
I have united me with that I will not find a blog or a webpage that tells me exactly what I need at various times, but maybe I can put this blog out there and that it will help me sort out what and who I am. I also hope that it can be a place for others in desperation, in search of how to live their life – with a colorful mind.
I know now that it all comes from within. And that only I can change things and how I see and deal with life in general.
To see the change, you have to bee the change.
THIS IS NOT A PITY SHOW by the way. Im not writing here to get compassion or make people feel sorry for me. People are struggling in the world, in so many ways we could never imagine. But the taboo that surrounds colorful minds all over has to be cracked open. I use the term colorful mind, as there are so many different ways to use your mind, at the same time as we all relate to mental disorders differently.
To sum it up, this blog is mainly for me and others who can find it rewarding and helpful. Sometimes there can be help in knowing that you are not the only person with thoughts and struggles. I guess I will post stuff about me, the things that takes up my time, fears, struggles, but mostly my journey back to life. Actually, not back to life – I don´t feel like going backwards anymore..
…this is me creating my future.